I want to be like that nun…

Sep 27, 2008

I want to be like that nun I saw on Sunday at mass, smiling, joyful, full of promise and anticipation, dressed in a grey dress that was so dull by comparison. I want to be like five-year-old Scotty throwing himself into any task, be it cleaning the toilet or going down a slide, applying all his being to his artwork, trying new things by diving in explosively. I want to be serious in the most delightful way as if I can only enjoy something by fully being present to it. I want to live life out loud, to plunge through the chaos, doubt and fear to the other side—joy, ecstasy and elation. I want to create outrageously, to fail deliciously, to extend myself to the farthest reaches of myself. I want to live, present to all life, involved as if I have only this moment, this day, this month to complete all I have to do. I WANT TO LIVE!

Heaven and earth in all their glory will not shine for me until I live their seasons, share in their harvests, and lift up my heart and even toes to the best I can be. Life, ecstatic life, is what I want. No more half way doing or being, nothing but all of me in whatever I do and how I be. I want to reach down to my depths to bring out all the richness there. I WANT TO BE!

I want to be summer, winter, fall and spring, all at the same time…time eternal, time immemorial, time standing-still, time-racing-as-fast-as-it-can. I want to cross every bridge, to climb every mountain, scale every height, explore the deepest caves, crawl through the longest tunnels, kayak the best rivers, fly as low and as high as I can…..to walk on Mars and the moon and all the planets in the universe……to zip across Orion’s Belt and swing from star to star in the Southern Cross…..to grab the tail of Hailey’s Comet and ride through the galaxies until the ecstasy kills me….to drink up the Milky Way and leap from asteroid to asteroid. I WANT TO SOAR!

There is so much to do in one lifetime! I am starting on my quest today. Tomorrow you’ll hardly see me as I leap from task to task, planet to planet. Catch a glimpse of me as I ride the thermals, soar the heavens, scale the earth. I’ll be back from time to time, but only for an instant, because in order to get it all in I HAVE TO DO IT NOW!

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