Watch out for the plateaus in life—they are the respite between the last lesson and the next one—but don’t get too comfortable, don’t give in to the desire to stay where you are. All life is growing towards the full blossoming of the self and then there is the decline towards old age and death. […]

To love means to bring all of ourselves to the table. Remember what falling in love is like—the absorption in the one loved, the desire to be close to the other, the giddiness, that sensation of falling—remember that this is a phase that signals the start of love, but does not last. What I’ve described […]

We have not been well-loved and valued; we have not been fully embraced as we are, even if we grew up in a loving family. It is far worse for someone who grows up with abuse in any form. Still we are a prickly people. We are self-preoccupied. We live mostly in the past or […]

You may have noticed in my writings that I seldom talk about beliefs, even though I am a Christian. What I write about is the relationship with God, about how do you, how do I, translate our beliefs into a life that echoes Jesus’ relationship with his Abba, the closeness of that relationship? I am […]

A contemplative life is not as we might imagine it—dull with nothing to do but ponder and reflect. What the word contemplative usually conjures up for us is someone, probably a cloistered monk or nun—who has nothing to do all day long except think about God. There actually are contemplative orders of religious people that […]

“I love everyone, but I don’t have to like them.” I first heard a woman say this in a church in Charlotte and I was shocked. The sentiment I heard behind the words she spoke was a distancing of herself from anyone that she didn’t want to get to know. It’s a very convenient sentiment […]

As we in the Christian church regroup in an era where the church has lost much of its authority in our country, I think we need to look deeply within for why we have turned so many people off in the last forty years. From the scandals of the Catholic priests to the Protestant politicians […]

If there is one thing that is deeply embedded in the American psyche it is this: I alone am responsible for my life. I have to make it happen—whatever the “it” is. I am on my own in this thing called life. Even within the context of family and partnerships we can feel totally alone […]

Willingness. Commitment. Surrender. These three attitudes of openness are the keys to our growth into a deeper relationship with God. He does not wrestle or command or even grab us away from our personal trajectory or take away our free will. She knows better than to make us a draggee by trying to convince us […]

“Imaginary friend in the sky. Delusional. Sad,” commented one of my Facebook readers recently on a day I was writing about surrendering to God. What he wrote caused me to think about how I would describe God. The picture of God he painted is the one I had as a child: an angry God, a […]